I have just recently have installed you. Why? I don’t even know, but I know for sure one thing, I had a pure curiosity about this whole universe of online dating.
I still remember the unforgettable list of terms and conditions you have put me to sign:
https://www.gotinder.com/terms <- It only takes 63 minutes to read (only if you are an avid reader of laws, which nobody is, not even lawyers).
But, as a summary:
”You can’t sue Tinder if you don’t find your soulmate.”
But, the thing that puzzles me is the fact that I can’t stop wondering if you make me different, Tinder. Do you? I am different on your dating platform than I am in reality? I really hope that I have achieved to mirror my true self as accurate as I can, even though I don’t even know what my true self is either. At least, I’ve decided to let both my good and bad aspects to show, as to create a Me2 on your platform.
Am I really that cool person who sends really witty messages? I was told I am. What do you think? Now I am in doubt. Every time I’m questioning myself I am in doubt. Facebook had been and maybe it still is a shrine to the self, way before you existed, way before I have found about you.
Maybe, we, individuals are only our true ourselves only when we meet our date in person. In that moment I transform myself in either a very shy, but laid back person or in a very talkative, maybe aggressively dominating the conversation. It all depends on the person with whom I am talking to, or my mood… oh, there is so much variation.
Maybe, I am becoming the real me only when I am going back home, the second after I can’t see my date anymore, but only after I make sure that they don’t see me either. I’ve remembered asking myself why did I’ve said certain things? Just why? It is that really myself? Or it is a version of myself which has modified in order to match with the person standing in front of me?
This is a question which is going to hang, to float in the air similar to the smoke of a freshly lit cigarette. And my answer? Not significant. It is as annoying as the clothes filled up with smoke, or as satisfying as someone who has seen your message and has no response for you, as you were as unimportant as a bug. Maybe even the bug has more importance than you have.
Self-discovery, change, indecision, uncertainty… Sounds familiar? Well, guess what, all these feelings are common when you try to find yourself in your twenties. Life is exactly like an experiment, you want to experience everything in the shortest time possible. But, I’m thinking, if, at 21, I am still in doubt about the path through which I have got to how, and suddenly, briskly asking myself why?
Still, dear Tinder, I am wondering what will you change in let’s say 5 years, or maybe at the new update? Who knows? I don’t even know who I am going to be in 1 year. Times flies, I change. I update, as I want to believe, exactly like you. Maybe you’ll find me to be an important and influential woman, living a busy and demanding life, or maybe, but maybe I’ll be even thumbless, semi-professional alcoholic, who has nothing else than swipe with my nose, hoping for the best.